i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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