So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
These tits shall not be calmed
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