so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How does one acquire holy water?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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