My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
