If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
