Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
