member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
