Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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