Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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