Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
