Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just threw up on my dentist
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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