Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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