At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
