the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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