i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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