my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
