I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
