i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Randomize
