Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
