Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
