Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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