You really coming over, don't trick.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
