Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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