dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
