If i come over, it means nothing
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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