piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
