planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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