bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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