Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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