i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
