day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
