are you still at the devil's house?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize