Swine flu. Run for my life!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
