8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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