question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
