Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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