Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize