Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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