You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
