11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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