I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
