You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
tell me about the fingering
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