We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
