I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize