i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
