yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
