Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
