I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
