i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
