Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
