Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
