Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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