i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
