I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
