love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
