I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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