im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
