I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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