You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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