How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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