Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
